


Roommates

by amyponders



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Alternate Universe - Vikings, Body Dysphoria, Body Image, Canon Disabled Character, Cheesy, Couch Cuddles, Crushes, Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Relationship, Disability, Disabled Character, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, F/M, Falling In Love, Fat Shaming, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, God I love him so bad, Headcanon, Hvitserk is a chubby chaser, I Blame Tumblr, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Summaries, Implied Relationships, Insecurity, Jealousy, Light Angst, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Male-Female Friendship, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Original Character(s), Modern Era, Multi, Non-Explicit Sex, Not Actually Unrequited Love, One-Sided Attraction, Past Relationship(s), Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Romance, Plot Twists, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Ivar (Vikings), Reader-Insert, Relationship(s), Requited Unrequited Love, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Roommates, Secret Crush, Sibling Rivalry, Siblings, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Slow To Update, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Triggers, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Vikings, dark!Hvitserk, he's both lol, hvitserk x plus size reader, ivar x plus size reader, light skinny shaming?, plus size, plus size reader, soft!hvitserk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:06:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 19,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23736574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyponders/pseuds/amyponders
Summary: Hvitserk had a golden heart and a goofy smile and an easygoing personality and he was thoughtful to her. Maybe that’s why she hadn’t left. He knew that despite her accepting his kindness, she didn’t need him to survive, not really. But he still liked to feel needed. Maybe that’s why he hadn’t left.
Relationships: Bjorn & Hvitserk (Vikings), Bjorn (Vikings)/Original Female Character(s), Hvitserk & Ivar (Vikings), Hvitserk & Ubbe (Vikings), Hvitserk (Vikings)/Original Female Character(s), Hvitserk (Vikings)/Reader, Hvitserk (Vikings)/You, Ivar (Vikings) & Reader, Ivar (Vikings) & You, Ivar (Vikings)/Reader, Ivar (Vikings)/You, Ubbe (Vikings) & Reader, You/Original Character
Comments: 59
Kudos: 62





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Roommates: Vikings Headcanons: Hvitserk](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/608224) by littlemessyjessi. 



> Several things:
> 
> 1) The first chapter is inspired on some Hvitserk headcanons I read. I had the outline for a "roommates" type of situation before but with some other characters and after reading the h/c I decided to modify it and use that as a base. I recommend reading them to understand it better but it's not necessary. If the author ever reads this, no plagiarism intended. I just really like those h/c. They were lovely 💖  
> 2) First time attempting to do a reader insert in the third person. It feels weird but I've seen it done before and it works??? IDK, hopefully this one does too.  
> 3) This is kind of a personal/cathartic fic. Merely posting it is therapy enough. As with all of my fics, I wrote this for myself and with my own personal taste in mind. I'm very grateful if you like it but I also understand if you think it's too cheesy — or alternatively, too angsty.  
> 

[Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/12hMQ4KmxDVygGUkslYkeR?si=a8FcfYrUSX-X97LUIN9LFA)

They were cuddling on the couch of their shared apartment. They had plans to go out with some friends of his in the evening. Hvitserk wanted to take her to some pub or another, saying she needed to go out for a change and have some fun, but they decided against it when she started cramping because of her period. 

After apologizing to him for ruining their plans, and him telling her it was okay for the hundredth time, he texted his friends to let them know they weren’t going. He grabbed a blanket from his bed, took off his green hoodie so she could wear it over her pajama, and they sat in the living room snuggling. 

She had to admit it was kind of awesome. She’d missed the old talks with his roommate. It was the first time in weeks they’d seen each other because she was out of town visiting her parents. He’d disappeared some days before that too, like he often did, chasing after something or another. 

Sometimes she wondered why he even bothered to pay for an apartment if he wasn’t going to be there all the time. It’s not like he needed to pay for a place anyway... As far as she was concerned, his family was rich.

She whimpered under her voice, an unpleasant stab hitting her abdomen, the spasms radiated to her legs and her lower back like a throbbing nightmare.

“You okay?”

She nodded briefly, trying not to move around too much. “Some days I wish I was a man.”

“What are you talking about? You get to bring life into this world! Then there’s that whole excruciating birth pain thing. But you know… all in all.” He chuckled in his soft voice.

She followed and regretted it immediately. Wincing, she added: “Yeah right... like I even want kids. Cramps are enough torture, thank you very much.”

“And here I was thinking you were going to carry my children.” He teased her in an attempt to keep her from focusing on the pain. 

“Ew?” She grimaced. The pain mixing with the confusion.

He frowned. “Well, you know I’ve been single for some time and don’t have any female friends. Except for you.”

“I’m sure one of the dozen girls you used to bring here would agree to do it.”

Hvitserk ignored her remark and went on: “C’mon, Y/N think about it.” He smiled a little. “We already live together. Who else is going to bear my crazy moods and put up with my drunk ass the way you do? Plus, I’m sure no one can beat your cooking.”

“That’s true… I don’t get enough credit for putting up with drunk  _ you _ . Or regular  _ you _ for that matter.”

“Besides, our relationship will stay the same. Ivar says we’re basically married already. Minus the sex...” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“You had to go and sneak in sex, didn’t you? And what does Ivar know about anything? Since when is he an expert on relationships?” She shook her head a little annoyed. Ivar’s first and only girlfriend, Freydis, had turned out to be a crazy stalker and he still hadn’t moved on from what she could tell. 

“Think about it, we could, uh, ‘upgrade the friendship’ and you could own a fancy apartment, cars, clothes... You name it! And a pet koala. I suppose I could get you a pet koala…” He mused remembering her favorite animal. He ran his hand against her arm distractedly.

She giggled under her breath.

“Would it be so disgusting, though?” He asked absently.

“The what?”

“The sex.”

Y/N blushed against her hoodie, burying her face further in on his neck, unexpectedly glad for the dim lights. He had a habit of asking difficult questions and confronting her about many things. You would think she would have gotten used to it by now. How the hell would she know? She wasn’t exactly experienced in the matter. 

Not that he knew about it anyway. She might have let him think she had already slept with her ex-boyfriend, much to his chagrin. She still remembered the repulsed face Hvitserk had made when she told him about their supposed encounter. 

She could tell Hvitserk didn’t like him, always growing serious, withdrawn, and quiet - all things he notoriously wasn’t - whenever he was in their apartment visiting her. She imagined it was probably a territorial thing of not wanting a male stranger to take up space in his apartment. And likewise, her boyfriend didn’t like Hvitserk either, but he was much more vocal about his ‘concerns’ than Hvitserk was about his. 

“I don’t know.” She mumbled.

“You mean... you’ve never thought about it?”

“I suppose I haven’t.”

“Huh.” He sounded almost disappointed.

“Have you?” She asked impulsively, not wanting to know the answer one second later. 

He only grinned in response.

“Aw! C’mon! Hvitserk!”

“What?! You’re my roommate.”

“Exactly!”

“Well, I’m also a man…”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing...” He was silent for a couple of seconds. He continued explaining when he saw the horror reflected in her eyes. “Look, babe, at some point it has crossed my mind. It’s not like I sit all day thinking about it, but I have given it some thought.”

“And…?” She asked in a feeble voice.

“For your peace of mind… Let’s just stick with ‘it’s not the worst thing in the world.’” He smirked. 

Hvitserk turned his head to look at her expression and she recoiled. He wasn’t sure if it was from his remark or from the pain. He stared at her while biting his lips nervously, the ghost of a smile vanishing. 

“Seriously, do you want some aspirins? I don’t like seeing you in pain.”

“Aspirins?” She asked ironically. “They don’t cut it for me. Besides, I’m fine, Hvitserk. It’s not my first rodeo. Just hug me for a little while.” 

He put an arm around her shoulders and brought her closer to him. “Sometimes I wish you were on your period more often.”

She grimaced swiftly. “Huh?”

“It’s the only time of the month you’re ever nice to me.” He kissed the top of her forehead and she giggled. “You get all mushy and sentimental.”

“You idiot. My legs hurt.” She whined and pouted. “ _ Everything _ hurts… stop judging me.”

It was true that she wasn’t the most open or loving person, but she liked to think that with him she was a little different. At least different enough to curb her neurosis. In reality, she had no clue how she’d lasted that long living with him. 

If any other person did the things he did, she would’ve bolted for the door within the first week of moving in. He slept in late and was drunk more often than not. He soaked the bathroom floor whenever he took a shower. He played his music too loud and forgot to fold his clothes and water her plants when she told him to. 

His rowdy band of brothers crowded the apartment whenever they were bored and couldn’t find a place to crash, playing video games and eating all her snacks. And he brought plenty of girls home, although he’d stopped after she yelled at him exasperated in front of his brothers one afternoon. She’d never seen him look more embarrassed. 

But Hvitserk had a golden heart and a goofy smile and an easygoing personality and he was thoughtful to her in other ways. Maybe that’s why  _ she _ hadn’t left. After a stressful day out, it was always nice to come back home and complain to him about it. He’d pause his video game or his texting or whatever else he’d be doing and get all sassy talking about the people she got mad at, even if he’d never met them. 

He took out the trash and laughingly killed all the bugs that freaked her out. He constantly texted her whenever she was out late and paid for a lot of things in the apartment so she wouldn’t have to. He knew that despite her accepting his kindness, she didn’t need him to survive, not really. But he still liked to feel needed. Maybe that’s why  _ he _ hadn’t left. 

“Lift up your legs.”

“Why?”

“Put them on my lap. Like this.” He grabbed her legs and moved them so they were across his thighs. “I used to do this to my girlfriend all the time ‘cuz her legs got so swollen whenever she was bleeding.” Hvitserk explained while he massaged her calves firmly. He brought his hands higher, meaning to touch her thighs. “Can I?”

She nodded when she felt the relief his hands brought about.

“I promise I’m not trying to get handsy.” Hvitserk said earnestly. 

“After this conversation, I’m not so sure anymore.” She joked but she knew he was only trying to be helpful. 

“C’mon, Y/N. That’s not my style and you know it… I’ll try to seduce you some other time.” Hvitserk winked and flashed her a lazy grin.

She sighed overdramatically.

He alternated between her calves and her thighs and she laid back on some cushions and closed her eyes, grateful to have someone in her life that cared about her and tried to make her feel better, even if that someone was her obnoxious roommate.

\---

“What’s going on?”

“Huh?” Hvitserk had snapped her out of her reverie.

“You’ve been frowning for the past ten minutes... That chicken has not done anything to you. Quit stabbing it.” He joked.

She relaxed her face and realized she had been indeed frowning. “It’s nothing.” She looked down embarrassed, her cheeks turning red. 

He stared at her intently, which only made her redder. She felt angry and insecure, and that familiar watery sensation in her eyes wanted to form so badly. She hated those days of the month because they only accentuated all of her self-doubts, and made her sentimental to a puke-inducing extreme to put the cherry on top of her misery as if the pain and mood swings weren’t enough.

“Y/N?” Hvitserk asked in a serious voice.

“What?” She looked up from her plate, still a little disoriented but trying to do her best impression of ‘fine’.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing, I told ya.” She said in an unconcerned tone.

“With you ‘nothing’ is never nothing. Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“How?”

“I don’t know. Maybe with the waitress -”

She snorted, then laughed. “Oh, please. Like I’m not used to you flirting with every girl in sight.”

“You’ve been really quiet.”

“Well, I’m eating, aren’t I? This is really good. Thanks for bringing me here!” She smiled, trying to make it sincere. Apparently, it worked because he didn’t ask again. 

“Is there anything else I can do for you?” The waitress asked, batting her lashes.

“Just the check, please.” Hvitserk said not looking at her, Instead, he focused on Y/N. He knew what was happening and he wasn’t about to let her go through with another self-hatred episode. He had to do something about it…

“Well, could she be more obvious?” Y/N said ironically, setting her plate aside.

“Why?”

“She wasn’t wearing lipstick when we first got here.” She remarked.

“Really? How do you notice those things?” He chuckled.

“How do you  _ not _ ?” She furrowed her brow.

After she came back with the check, they stood up and walked slowly to the door. They passed near the cash register where the waitress was entering the money. She looked at him with intent eyes following their trail. Maybe she was hoping for one last look, a wink, or his number…

Y/N spoke amused: “Poor thing doesn’t know just how annoying you are.”

“What?” Hvitserk replied from behind her.

“What?” She mimicked and smirked looking back at him. “I’m kidding!”

“You better be.” He grabbed her hard by the waist with both hands to make her stop and he gave her a loud, wet, sloppy kiss on her cheek.

“Eww, Hvitserk! Stop that!” She reprimanded him while she dried her face, though she couldn’t stop smiling.

“Why should I?”

“Because I don’t like it.”

Hvitserk grinned: “Well, I do!”

He touched her elbows from behind and gave her a gentle push so she would keep walking out of the restaurant and into his car. 

“Alright, some spoiling is in order. Let’s go get some ice cream!” 

She smiled at the prospect of something sweet with heaps of chocolate on top. “I was wondering why you didn’t let me order any dessert!”

“I know a better place. C’mon.” He wanted to talk about what was wrong, but first, he would have to butter her up.


	2. Chapter 2

“So what do you want to do…?” He asked.

“Honestly? Lying here seems as good an option as any.” They were back in their apartment sprawled across the floor after eating that ice cream he’d promised.

“Seriously? You’re the most inexpensive friend I’ve ever had.”

“You need new friends.” She stifled a laugh. “Seems to me they only like you for the hotel suites.”

“Most of them, yeah…” He said a little detached. “Seriously, I’m prepared for anything. Paid shopping trip. Weekend in Ibiza. You name it.”

“I think you have me confused with somebody else. I’m perfectly fine here.” 

“Thank the gods ‘cuz I’m tired of all that shit.” Hvitserk said laughing.

She rolled her eyes.

“I’m so glad I met you. I need noiseless moments like these.”

“Wow. Thanks for calling me boring.”

“I’m not calling you boring!” He chuckled. After a brief silence, he spoke again. “Well, if you do want to stay cooped up in here – which is fine by me – you’re gonna have to do a little something for me.” He sat up and looked at her. 

“And what’s that?”

“Open up.”

“Open... what exactly?”

“Who’s the one sneaking in sex, now?” He cocked his eyebrows.

“Not me.” She said with a straight face.

Hvitserk took a moment before speaking again. “I know you’ve been having a rough time lately, Y/N. You can trust me.”

“I do trust you. Otherwise, I wouldn't put up with you.”

He grabbed her chin and made her turn her face. He looked at her almost accusingly through his thick blond lashes. “But?”

“But you’re not my therapist.”

“No, but I’m your friend so it’s kind of in the job description.” 

“So I’m your job now?” She said jokingly, trying to deflect his attention in a very feeble attempt on her part, and he saw right through it.

“How many times have we been over this?” Hvitserk said like he had repeated himself a thousand times already. “It’s not a burden. I want you to talk to me.” He lowered his voice and took on a much sweeter tone.

“It’s no use, I’ll just start crying and I don’t feel like making a fool of myself in front of you…”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s embarrassing. I’m probably the only girl who comes to you to complain all the time.” Y/N said with irony. A lump was forming in her throat.

He laid back down sideways and brought her close to lock her in his arms. “That’s true. But you’re also one of the few people  _ I  _ trust.”

She tried to wiggle out of his embrace but couldn’t. “Damn it, Hvitserk.”

“Nuh-uh. If you want out, start talking.”

“Alright, fine!” Y/N exclaimed when she realized she would sooner choke herself to death on his forearm than escape his grip. He softened his embrace and she glanced at him irritated. “I miss my ex even though he dumped me and I feel stupid for still wanting him!”

Hvitserk’s expression changed quickly. He listened impassively then said: “First of all he didn’t dump you, he lost you. There’s a difference. And frankly, if he hadn’t done it, I would’ve punched him and made him do it anyway.”

“...Why?”

“Because he was a tool,  _ that’s why _ . There’s so much shit he kept on doing because you forgave him time and time again when you should’ve just... left him. I watched you two interact for a long time Y/N, and I don’t think you should’ve even dated him in the first place... And who the fuck told you you aren’t good enough? Trust me when I say he didn’t deserve you. Not one inch of you.”

She’d never heard him speak so nicely about her before.

She shifted and Hvitserk lifted his arm from across her chest and she sat up. She avoided looking him in the eye for a moment. She couldn’t bring herself. She knew he wouldn’t lie, not to her, and not about this, but her mind kept telling her otherwise. She finally steeled herself to look at his dark green eyes which were staring at her intensely. 

He raised his voice, clearly invested: “I think the reason you’re still not over that dickhead is that you think there’s no one else who can love you.”

She swallowed and grimaced a little bit. He was getting angry, she could sense it. And pissed off Hvitserk meant no-filter Hvitserk. She knew something like this would happen. Her eyes started to get watery.

He got up from the floor and started pacing around the room. He let out a sarcastic, humor-less chuckle as if to say something else, but he stopped himself when he saw she was crying. He knelt in front of her trying to give her comfort and she looked away, doing her best to choke back the tears. 

“Y/N?” He groaned when she kept her face turned to the side, refusing to look at him.

He was preparing his speech inside his mind, trying to find the right words to make her understand. He got up again and placed a hand on his hip then raised the other to rub his temples.

“Listen to me, Y/N.” He started. “And do it carefully because you need to really believe me when I tell you that he is  _ so _ not worth the time and energy you’ve spent on him. You’re good, you’re strong, you’re smart… smarter than me, for sure. Odin knows I hated school, but you just make all of that seem so easy… I wish you could see he isn’t even half the man you deserve. You can ask Ubbe or Ivar if you don’t believe me. I know they will say the same.”

She listened attentively, not really knowing where to look. If he was trying to keep her from crying, he had the opposite effect. 

“Still, I wasn’t enough to make him stay.” She said sniffling after some time.

“Have you been listening? He put both hands on his hips and tilted his head to the side. “Like, at all? He is not good enough, Y/N, he isn’t! Get that inside your head!”

“I just keep on thinking that if I were 40 pounds lighter he wouldn’t have left.” She said absently, more to herself than anything. 

He frowned. 

After a couple of seconds, she blinked repeatedly as if realizing she had said that out loud. Y/N raised her eyes for the first time in a while. “I noticed you didn’t say anything about the way I look.”

“I was-”

“No, please let me finish.” She pleaded, and he bit his tongue. “And while some of what you said might be true -“

“Some?” He interrupted in a derisive tone, unable to help himself.

“- I’m not stupid.” She continued as if he hadn’t said anything. “I know there’s a possibility that maybe he just got tired of settling and decided to go after someone actually hot for a change. Let’s face it, he wasn’t making anyone envious standing next to me.”

“Don't be so sure ‘bout that.” He locked eyes with her in a rather upfront way. “And I’m sorry, your lips keep moving but I can’t really understand what you’re saying.” He said sarcastically. “I wasn’t done yet. I was just saving the best for last.”

Y/N started feeling very self-conscious. It was one thing to have him praising her intellect, blush-worthy but bearable - she knew she had some talent after all - but another entirely different to have her physique analyzed.

“What? No, Hvitserk. Don’t… start. This is pointless. I don’t need you to pep-talk me.” She said in a calm tone, she’d already accepted it and wasn’t really looking for a debate. Just a “you’re right, you’re ugly” that she was sure she would never hear from him if only for that sense of obligation you feel in any friendship. 

“You’re wrong.” He stated bluntly.

She was right. He was gonna do it. She laughed internally. Without wanting to, that smile permeated to her lips as a kind of ironic curve that seemed to irritate him.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

Hvitserk looked to the side calculating his next move, then he walked up to the dining room and grabbed a chair. He sat facing Y/N, with his elbows on his knees and his eyes directly looking at her. 

He spoke very slowly: “I wanna know who the  _ fuck _ told you you’re not pretty enough? Tell me ‘cuz I wanna know. I wanna know who’s the dumb motherfucker who made you believe that… And I’d like their address too so I can go beat the shit out of ‘im.” He raised an eyebrow while he spread back on the chair waiting.

She raised another one herself. It hadn’t been just one person really. More like a conglomerate of stupid people parading through her life with way too much to say about her. They had claimed more ownership of her thoughts, her body, and the way she perceived herself than it was healthy or acceptable. 

In a way, she had been guilty of letting other people dictate her self-worth, making her ashamed of things she didn’t even know she had to be ashamed of. A little hanging skin from her arm, a roll of fat on her stomach when she sat, the size of her jeans, the very small gap in between her thighs or the extra roundness of her hips compared to her waist.

“And no, I don’t give a fuck about what society thinks, babe.” Hvitserk leaned forward momentarily.

“Well, I do. Because clearly you hadn’t had to live with that.”

He sat back in his chair and seemed to be processing her words. “Fair enough. But you wanna know what? These pricks who told you those things have never been with a real woman.”

“Oh, and you have?” She fired back.

“Yes.” He said just as fast, staring at her shamelessly. “And I’m dying to do it again.”

Y/N looked down quickly in an effort to not turn red. 

_ Shit. _

Was Hvitserk flirting with her? She knew he was normally kind of a flirt but she was still taken aback on the few occasions he actually complimented  _ her _ . Sometimes she got a feeling that he held back around her. He would tell her she looked nice in this dress or that skirt with a tense voice as if she could hit him with a pan at any second. 

Then there were the times when she’d get dolled up for a night out with her girlfriends and he’d stare at her from the living room, taking his eyes off the TV to follow her until she reached the door. As she headed out on one occasion, she even witnessed Ubbe and Bjørn hollering and teasing him while he sank down on the couch and turned scarlet but she had decided to ignore them. She didn’t want to find out what that had been about. It made her feel self-conscious and insecure.

All of a sudden, she remembered the time she’d encountered his ex-girlfriend and it all made sense. It had been only once, many months ago, before they broke up and he started sleeping with every girl in town he could lay his hands on. At first, Y/N hadn’t been sure who the girl standing in their living room was because he didn’t introduce her. 

They came in for a short time looking for something or another he’d forgotten. They were about to go clubbing - she’d surmised from the time of night and their clothes - and she vividly remembered seeing the woman’s plump legs and curvy hips. She had a lovely face with impeccable makeup and wavy brown hair that fell just beneath her ample chest.

She was wearing a brown leather jacket - probably his - on top of a maroon dress that hugged all her curves and Y/N was blown away by her confidence. She was heavier than herself, yet she didn’t look apologetic about it. He’d grabbed her hips lovingly as they exited the door together and she mumbled something just loud enough for Y/N to recognize her voice. It suddenly hit her that she was the girl he always spoke to on the phone with a lopsided grin plastered on his face.


	3. Chapter 3

“Look, Hvitserk-”

“No, you look… Look at yourself in the mirror, for starters.” He stood up and grabbed her hand.

When she resisted, he pulled her and she groaned: “What are you doing?”

“Showing you all the reasons why you’re wrong.”

“Just let it go, okay? I don’t really care anymore.”

“Well, I do. Because you need to start breaking the habit.” He pushed her by the shoulders until they were in front of the floor mirror in her room.

“Breaking the habit?”

“The habit of bringing yourself down without a reason. If I don’t help you then what’s the point of being friends?”

She stared at him through his reflection in the mirror.

“What do you see? Honestly.”

“A very annoying dude who I’m about to punch in the face if he keeps trying to therapize me.”

“Bear with me, will ya?”

“Fine.” She sighed, knowing well that Hvitserk was gonna keep on going anyway, no matter what she said or how she protested.

“You wanna know what I see?”

“Not really, but since you insist.” Y/N replied cynically and looked at his lean frame behind hers in the mirror.

“I see a gorgeous woman with beautiful hair and expressive eyes, and a killer rack, and hips perfect for grabbing…” His voice was guttural and he lowered both of his hands from her shoulders to her hip bones where they rested and gripped her skin.

Y/N clenched her jaw. 

“Sure your thighs are big, but I think any guy can tell you just how much we love big thighs, and uh…” He traced off lowering his eyes to deliberately glance at her ass; the space between them was virtually nonexistent. He grinned and looked away: “Well, I think you know the rest…” 

She tried to focus but his raspy voice speaking so close to her ear, plus his calloused hands still touching the skin on her hips were making her dizzy. It had been some time since she last felt a man’s hands - or rather her ex-boyfriend’s hands - on her body.

“Don’t touch me like that.”

Hvitserk withdrew like he’d burned his fingertips on a hot stove. He looked apologetically at her.

“Unless, of course, you’re trying to date me.”

A smile appeared on his lips and he relaxed again. “What if I am?”

The loud ringing noise of their doorbell interrupted before she could answer.

He walked outside of her room and to their front door and opened it with a sigh.

“Oh, good, you’re home!” Ubbe’s voice came from the other side of the threshold.

Hvitserk raised his eyebrows. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you.”

“Because… you miss me so much?”

“Yeah... yeah, I do. I’m not allowed to miss my little brother?” Ubbe asked in a suspicious tone. He walked right past Hvitserk and took his soaked hoodie off, apparently it was raining cats outside. He passed a hand down his wet hair to comb it. He looked around and saw as Y/N emerged from her room. “Oh.” His eyes darted back to his brother. “Is this a bad time?”

“Hey, Ubbe! As good a time as any.” Y/N replied, sitting on their sofa and taking up a book she had left on their coffee table the previous morning, glad that she wouldn’t have to be the center of attention anymore.

“When did you arrive, Y/N?”

“Like three days ago.” She lifted her eyes from the book’s dust cover to look at him.

“That explains why you have been ignoring my calls.” Ubbe turned his attention to Hvitserk.

“Have I?” He asked sarcastically. “I didn’t notice. But please, come in and make yourself comfortable.” He said mockingly as Ubbe was already walking towards Y/N.

“I’m glad to see you, though.” He made her get up to hug her warmly before sitting down on the sofa next to her. “What have you guys been up to?”

“Not much really.” Hvitserk exhaled heavily and grabbed the chair he’d left there to sit facing them. 

She could tell he was annoyed. 

“I was just trying to convince Y/N of something and she refuses to believe me, even though all the signs are clearly there.”

“What do you mean?” Ubbe inquired.

“Really?” She raised her eyes from her book again. It seemed as if she wasn’t gonna be able to enjoy this night after all. “Can we please just drop it?” She sounded tired.

“No. I won’t drop it. Actually, maybe my brother can help.” Hvitserk shot back.

“Well, if you tell me what this is about...” Ubbe said, pinpointing the obvious.

Hvitserk opened his mouth.

“I was having a meltdown, okay?” Y/N interrupted him before he could say anything. “I’m anxious and chubby and insecure and my boyfriend dumped me.” She said rolling her eyes. “But it’s not the end of the world. I’ll get over it... someday soon I hope.”

“I like her. She doesn’t take herself too seriously.” Ubbe spoke to Hvitserk but kept smiling looking at her intently. 

Hvitserk furrowed his brow. “Brother, could you help me here?”

“Alright, alright. And what did my brother tell you?” He asked, turning in his seat to face her.

“I-“ Hvitserk started.

“Shut up, not you. I want to hear it from her.” Ubbe retorted.

“Well, he tried to make a point of me not being ugly or a waste of space.”

“Go on.” Ubbe pressed. “What did he say to try and make you feel better?” He grinned knowingly.

She sighed.

“What is that sigh supposed to mean?” Ubbe asked, entertained.

“It means I hated that conversation so much I will be forced to repeat it.” She smiled forcefully, not even trying to hide the sarcasm anymore.

“Could you do an effort for me, please?” Ubbe asked with his intense blue gaze fixed on her.

“He said I have a brilliant mind and that... I’m a pretty girl, I guess.” She informed him.

“Attractive is what I was aiming for.” Hvitserk corrected.

“Alright… and what’s the problem?” Ubbe asked flatly.

“There’s no ‘problem’. I just don’t really agree.”

“Why not?”

“Well, for one thing, he’s horny 99% of the time. And also, he’s my friend. That’s like having your mom tell you you’re beautiful. It’s their job to think you are, even if you’re not. Well, maybe not in your case.” She glanced to the side when she heard her words and mentally kicked herself for blurting that out loud.

“Hey, hey!” Hvitserk interjected.

She smiled and looked down shaking her head. 

“Thanks, Y/N… You’re too sweet.” Ubbe smirked too and shifted on the couch to sit facing her. “So you don’t think that’s true?”

“I told you already.”

“Just making sure.” He didn’t sound phased by her snappy comments.

“Which side are you on?” Hvitserk interrupted. “Are you gonna help out me or not?”

Ubbe glanced from her to his brother, to her again. “Well, would you believe me?”

“I guess…” Y/N replied a little reluctantly.

“Then I regret to inform you I agree with him.”

“Great. And how do I know you’re not saying that to just side with him?”

“When have I ever agreed with him just for kicks?” Ubbe asked, smiling. “Huh? Tell me.” He poked her side playfully.

“I think ‘never’ is a good option.”

“Exactly.”

“Yeah, but-“

“But what?!” Hvitserk cut her off exasperated.

“I will ask you the same question I asked him. When have you ever been with a big girl? Or even seen a chubby girl and thought that she was beautiful for that matter?”

“I’m seeing you right now...” Ubbe replied quickly. “...And that’s exactly what I’m thinking.”

Really? Was being smooth a family thing? She could feel the blood rushing to her face and she hated it.

“What’s the matter?” Ubbe asked. “Are you at a loss for words?” He teased, showing her his white grin.

She was looking at him like he had tricked her into punching herself in the face. 

She verbalized her thoughts and he replied with a laugh: “For the record, I do think you’re gorgeous. And we could bring Ivar into this. He’d be the quickest one to agree. I can actually put him on the phone right now -” Ubbe felt his pockets for his cellphone.

“Fine! Fine! I believe you!” Y/N rushed to say. If Ivar got in on the conversation it would never end. He never lost an argument. She’d learned that after countless nights of hearing them argue. She was tired of this embarrassing subject, and she knew the only way for them to drop it would be for her to yield.

“Fine?” Hvitserk asked offended. “I spent the last hour trying to convince you of all the good things you have and just how much of a fucking bombshell you are, and you fought me tooth and claw. But sure, my idiot brother comes in and you take his word on the first thing he says!”

“I’m naturally persuasive.” Ubbe smirked, clearly full of himself. He leaned back on the sofa, legs spread and arms resting above his head.

“You know what, Hvitserk?” Y/N asked, exasperation layering her voice even if she didn’t mean to sound like that. She stood up and dropped the book on the table with a loud snap. 

Ubbe looked up at her, taken a little aback. 

“I’m tired. I’m really, really tired of this dumb argument and I wanna sleep so… whatever it takes to shut you up, okay? I’ll be in my room.” 

She dragged her feet to her bed and groaned as she threw herself under the covers, the emotional exhaustion of the day washing over her.


	4. Chapter 4

Y/N fiddled with the door with a shaky hand, the other hand sliding through her lover’s wavy black hair to bring him close to her. He had his face buried in her neck, licking and tugging at her skin with his teeth. 

She moaned under her breath, the door was taking longer than expected to open so the guy separated from her for a second to hit it with his shoulder. It opened on the second attempt with a loud noise and it closed just as loudly. 

He extended his arm to the lamppost near the entrance but she whispered: “N-no. Leave it like that.” And he did as she said. 

Instead, he took off his leather jacket and threw it to the floor. They started kissing again and they tumbled against the wall and a chair and then almost tripped over a stray pair of shoes, probably Hvitserk’s. She giggled, the alcohol turning her way bubblier than she normally was. 

They laid down on the couch haphazardly and he fumbled around until he was lying between her legs. He started trailing down her neck again until he reached the top buttons of her dress and he popped them open with both hands, they fell down to the floor with a metallic clink.

He lifted his predatory blue eyes at her - in the darkness of the room they looked black as night - and he smirked mischievously. Y/N’s breath accelerated, she was turning edgy now that they were alone, away from all their friends at the party. She’d been the one to suggest going back to her apartment, but now her nervousness about her inexperience was starting to weigh in on her.

“Umm.”

“Mm? What’s that, baby?”

“I just- I’ve never done this before-”

“It’s okay. I usually don’t do one-night stands either.”

“N-no, I mean, well, yeah. I don’t do those either. But it’s because I’m…” 

Her head was spinning from her tipsiness and from the feeling of his mouth running along her skin. He was a gorgeous creature, more handsome than she ever thought she deserved. Somehow he’d been following her around all night and she asked him to take her home in a sudden surge of boldness and he’d said yes.

“If this is your first time I’m calling bullshit…”

Y/N bit her lip shyly and nodded.

“No way!” He chuckled and she couldn’t help but smile. He sounded like a little kid.

“Can we just… do it slow tonight?” She grabbed his face with both hands.

“Oh, yeah. No problem, baby.” He said and slithered down her body to continue popping open her dress. He kissed her stomach slowly and she threw her head back, enjoying his stubble scratching against her soft belly. 

One of the lamps from the living room got turned on and they both grimaced trying to adjust to the light. She heard someone clear his throat and she sat up quickly. Her lover was looking attentively at the spot behind her head. She turned around to see Ivar, Ubbe, and Hvitserk standing immobile in the hallway with expressions that ranged from contempt to amusement to shock, respectively. 

“Who the fuck is this guy, Y/N?” Ivar spoke first, no filter as always. 

Y/N’s man smiled. 

“Something funny?” Ivar prodded.

“Nah, dude.” He said but couldn’t keep from grinning.

Y/N could feel everyone’s eyes on her, particularly Ivar’s - who did a not-so-subtle double take at her exposed chest - while he tried to interrogate the man at the same time. She brought a hand to her breasts to cover herself up.

Seeing her discomfort, Ubbe grabbed a blanket from the couch’s armrest and crouched in front of her to wrap it around her shoulders. “We heard a loud noise.” Ubbe informed her.

Ivar hopped around the living room leaning on his crutch until he was in front of them both. His slow gait only made him appear more menacing. She remembered the first few times he’d visited Hvitserk when the blond first moved in and how she always scrambled to finish whatever she was doing in the living room and sneak into her bedroom until Ivar left. 

It didn’t help that he merely stared at her wordlessly, squinting his eyes, tilting his head, or curling his lips in a gesture that came too naturally to him. She felt observed and scrutinized for weeks before he spoke his first words to her directly. Hvitserk assured her frequently that Ivar actually liked her but she never believed him. 

She couldn’t even stand to look him in the eye. Of course, in time she began seeing glimpses of his personality in between the aloofness and the intimidation, and she understood that it was just his normal way of being and that Hvitserk had been telling the truth all along, but it hadn’t been an immediate realization.

“I think this is a great moment for you to leave.” He pointed with his crutch at the guy, his voice as cool as always, but his lip was raised in a gesture of disgust. 

The man looked at Y/N, wanting to know what she thought of it and she nodded. 

“They’re my b-brothers.” Y/N lied in embarrassment, grabbing the bridge of her nose and closing her eyes momentarily. “I’m so sorry but I think it’s better if you leave.” She sounded apologetic.

Hvitserk had a bizarre expression on his face as if somebody had suddenly thrown him into a frozen lake and he’d forgotten how to swim.

The man shrugged. “Alright. But I’m only leaving because you told me to. You have my number... and you know where to find me, sweet thing.” He voiced as he grabbed his jacket and walked leisurely to the door.

“Let this be the last time you  _ ever _ bring a man home, Y/N.” Ivar said in a heavy tone.

“Excuse me?” She retorted, swaddling herself with the sheet, her face still burning red.

“You heard me. I don’t want strangers in here.”

“In  _ my  _ apartment?” She raised an eyebrow.

“It might be your apartment but you don’t have permission to date.”

“Says who?”

“Says I.” He posed his incisive blue eyes on her. 

He sat down in the overstuffed chair in front of her, putting his crutch to the side. He slid down the hood of his black hoodie and accidentally ruffled his hair. She couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. With him, who really knew? 

She’d grown to like him, but she still found herself racking her brain sometimes at some of the things he said or did. He was the most enigmatic person she knew, but one thing was for sure, he had a domineering air about him and it wasn’t the first time he’d ever gotten territorial around her for reasons that escaped her comprehension.

She stared at him blankly and wrinkled her brow imperceptibly and as if sensing her doubts he gave her a small smile and she exhaled relievedly. He was at least  _ half- _ joking then. 

“I’m not your  _ brother _ .” Hvitserk said abruptly and headed for the door. He closed it with a loud bang that shook the wooden frame and the lamp near the entrance. His tone was beyond offended, he actually sounded hurt.

Ubbe looked at her and she creased her eyebrows. She had no clue what was going on either and her embarrassment over the fact that they’d caught her semi-naked about to have sex with a stranger superseded every other thought. 

They’d gotten a free peep show out of her and she was painfully aware that they’d seen all the things she hated about her body. Maybe they’d even heard her talking about her lack of experience. If they had, then that meant Hvitserk had probably gathered by now that she’d lied to him. 

“Well, go stop him, Ubbe. Before he does something stupid.” Ivar cooly shot at his brother without lifting his gaze off of her. To her ears, he didn’t even sound that concerned, to begin with. “And you… Put some clothes on. You’re coming with me.”


	5. Chapter 5

“What was  _ that  _ about?” Ubbe chuckled while chasing after Hvitserk. “Baby brother has a crush on Y/N.” He continued in a singsong voice.

“What are you, 4?” Hvitserk replied unamused and kept walking.

“Oh, come on. Just admit it already. I know you! You’re smitten.” Ubbe shot back while stopping the revolving glass door with both hands to keep it from hitting him in the face. 

“I’m not! She’s my  _ friend _ !” Hvitserk stopped walking to growl the words and he finally looked back at Ubbe.

“So? Best relationships start with a friendship. Or so they say.”

“And how would you now? Last I checked Torvi won’t even give you the time of day.” Hvitserk sneered.

Ubbe ignored him. “Let me ask you something I already know the answer to. Do you think she’s hot?”

He shrugged. “I do.”

“...”

“And?” Hvitserk inquired, still fuming. “I think a lot of girls are hot. That doesn’t prove anything.”

“Would you date her?”

“I don’t know, brother. Seems to me she’s a little occupied.” Hvitserk’s voice dripped sarcasm.

“Right, but given the chance?”

“...I would.”

“Would you... sleep with her?”

“Yeah…” Hvitserk sighed reluctantly.

Ubbe grinned smugly.

“What? She  _ is _ girlfriend material. Nothing wrong with stating the truth.” Hvitserk’s voice went up a few octaves. 

“I don’t get you, man. How can you say yes to all that and still deny you have feelings for her?”

“I happen to think she’s a good person because I know her. And I’m telling you she looks nice because I have eyes, for fuck’s sake! But I don’t have ‘feelings’ for her. If it happens, you’ll be the first to know, okay?” The blond clarified rather defensively and looked to the side of the street. People were walking up and down the sidewalk at a hectic pace.

“I see denial runs deep in this family. All I’m hearing is excuses.” Ubbe put a hand across his brother’s chest to keep him from smacking headfirst into a hurried passerby; Hvitserk’s mind was clearly elsewhere. 

“All you’re hearing are reasons why she’s a pretty girl and a decent human being. It’s my honest opinion. I’m trying to be objective here.” Hvitserk said very matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, right. Then what was that little bitch act back there? Are you gonna tell me you’re not jealous?”

Hvitserk glanced at him, irritated. “I’m not! I’m just mad she’s sneaking around behind my back!”

“Behind your back? Ha!” Ubbe laughed out. “Was she supposed to let you know she’d be having sex with that guy?” He asked incredulously.

“She could’ve at least given me a heads up. We live together!”

“Didn’t you used to bring girls home all the time?”

“Exactly. A little hypocritical of her to give me shit about it then do the same. Besides, I’m angry ‘cuz she lied to me. She told me she’d slept with her last boyfriend.”

“So? What’s it to ya?” Ubbe raised his shoulders. “Isn’t that better for you? Means you might still get to be the first.” He nudged him and laughed but Hvitserk rolled his eyes and started walking down the street, meaning to get away from him  _ and _ the conversation.

“Brother, come on!” The older sibling complained. “Wait! I’m sorry! All I mean is that you spend all of your free time here with her when you clearly don’t have to. Mom’s dying for you to go back to the house and under her wing again…” He continued talking while walking sideways, trying to make eye contact with his brother, who merely kept strolling and looking ahead. 

“Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that you’re not partying, smoking grass, and drinking until you pass out anymore, but you gotta understand how this looks to me. And I mean… short of sleeping with her, you have to admit you pretty much do everything together.” Ubbe grimaced a little.

“Actually -” Hvitserk stopped walking and against all odds a small smile appeared on the corner of his lips.

“Don’t tell me you’ve seen her naked before.” Ubbe stopped as well and rested one hand on his hip.

“…I did, yeah, once. But that’s not what I was going to say.” He looked to the floor lost in thought.

“Huh?!”

“She doesn’t know so shut up!” Hvitserk raised his gaze and shushed him.

“What?! So, now you’re stalking her? Creepy, Hvitserk. That’s a new low, even for you.”

“I’m not creepy, alright? I was walking to the bathroom one morning and she was taking a shower… It was an accident, just like today… I didn’t know she was in. I was more asleep than awake, to be honest, and I just saw her... standing there.”

“Did you close the door?”

“Yes. But I… I guess I stared for a couple of seconds.” Hvitserk’s voice was pensive.

“Did you like what you saw?” Ubbe asked in a snoopy tone.

“What kind of question is that, honestly? Just- leave me alone, I need time to think!” Hvitserk tried to sound offended and resumed walking and this time Ubbe let him sneak away.

“So you did. Got it.” Ubbe stood still and voiced loudly. He was clearly enjoying teasing Hvitserk.

“If you say anything, I’ll  _ kill _ you, brother!” Hvitserk yelled back and got lost in the crowd of people.


	6. Chapter 6

“No, he doesn’t like that brand.” She said taking the cereal out of the shopping cart and putting it back on the shelf. “It has to have chocolate in it. Otherwise, he doesn’t eat it.”

Ivar smirked at her in silence. 

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Even I can’t remember what fucking cereal ‘Serk eats.” He leaned against the cart and put his crutch inside it. Sometimes, if the distance was short and the ground relatively stable he liked to walk around without it. 

She knew it had to hurt way more, not having solid support to lean his weight on, but he was resolved and with a huge tolerance for pain, two things she definitely envied him. 

“Well, go pick the one he likes. I’ll wait here.”

When she set down the box, she told him they could move along, but Ivar kept on observing her with an irritating smirk on his face, which made her ask him again what was his deal.

“Mine? None at all. I’d like to know what yours is though...” He traced off.

“What?”

“Oh, you know what I’m talking about. What’s going on between you and Hvitserk?”

Y/N tried to pry the cart away from his hands but he was gripping it tightly. “C’mon, Ivar. I’ve got stuff to do.” She lied. “I don’t have all night to go grocery shopping. Who goes to the supermarket at night anyway?” She huffed in annoyance.

“Well,  _ I _ am free all night. So, we’re not moving from this aisle until you speak. You need to talk about this and there’s a severe lack of snacks in the apartment and I need food if I’m to survive this weekend locked up with you all so… two birds one stone, as they say.”

“What do you wanna know?”

“So many things. Why did he react that way-?” He started listing.

“I don’t know.” Y/N said before Ivar could finish.

“Is he jealous-?” He talked over her.

“I don’t know.”

“How did it make you feel?”

“I’m not telling  _ you _ .” She avoided his gaze.

“Why not? That was an awkward situation back there. I bet you’re dying to vent and let it all out.” Ivar pried at her feelings, which she decidedly wanted to keep to herself.

“If I tell you, would you shut up already?” She wasn't even trying to hide her annoyance anymore, but unlike Hvitserk, Ivar didn’t get scared by her sour temper easily.

“Yes.” He smirked full of himself.

“Okay, but I want to know something in exchange.” Y/N declared, there was something bothering her about Ivar and this could be the perfect opportunity to know. 

They were both very guarded with their thoughts, so the way his smile fell from his face only to be replaced by a cold mask of annoyance made her feel much better because it meant she wasn't at a disadvantage anymore.

“What do you wanna know?”

“I’ll only tell you that once you’ve agreed to tell me.”

He exhaled gruffly and muttered a brief: “Fine.”

Y/N fixed her eyes on the shelves in front of her and the words poured out: “That was so weird. I don’t know what’s gotten into him lately but his reaction made me feel like I owed him something? And I didn’t even know it but was supposed to, somehow? I didn’t mean to insult him by calling him my brother so I don’t know why that offended him so much either! And I’m still super embarrassed about the fact that...” She could feel her cheeks’ burning heat. “...Well, about the fact that you all saw me naked.”

“Why? I don’t get it.”

“Well, because-” She shot him a short look and saw he was scanning her face closely. “Because it’s my fucking body, Ivar, and I get to choose who I show it to.”

“I think you’re making this a way bigger deal than it is.” Ivar looked down and said softly. “None of us meant to see you like that.”

“Yeah, I know, which only makes me angrier ‘cuz then it means I have no one to truly blame.”

“It was an accident. A happy one, might I add.” He said and grinned. Y/N did a double-take at his face and opened her mouth to retort, then closed it and opened it again. “What is it with you all?” She rolled her eyes.

“What do you mean?” 

Ivar lifted a foot and put it against the bottom grill of the shopping cart; he kept leaning forward and she had no idea how he supported all his body weight on one foot. She was panicking inside, thinking that he might break a bone right then and there but apparently, the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind because his features were calm and completely devoid of any sort of discomfort. 

Did he just not hurt anymore? She knew he’d had many surgeries over the years which probably desensitized him to the pain by keeping him in a recurring state of convalescence; plus, he wore tight braces under his pants at all times which helped distribute his weight, but still, she was always more worried for him than he seemingly was for himself.

“I recently had a  _ very _ awkward conversation with your brothers about... me.” 

“What about ‘you’”?

She pursed her lips reminiscing about it. Y/N thought about how she had wanted to avoid discussing this with Ivar but the conversation was shaping out to be inevitable.

“About my... physique, I guess.”

“Ah.” Was his only response. 

There was a small pause where they both waited for an elderly couple that was picking some canned goods a few steps away from them to move.

“I don’t see what’s wrong with it. In fact- No. You know what, I won’t say anything else because I know you’re probably thinking of breaking a jar of pickles over my head and making a run for it.”

Y/N’s lips curled into a smile. “I  _ was _ thinking about it. How’d you guess?”

“Listen, Y/N, you don’t have to feel self-conscious. As far as we’re concerned, you’re family.”

“That just makes it weirder.” She mumbled.

“What I’m trying to say is that we’re not some random strangers, we’re not going to tell anybody about it, and we’re not going to treat you differently just because we accidentally saw you about to... you know.” Ivar trailed off and smirked. “No need to make this awkward.”

“It’s still uncomfortable.” She complained. “I don’t want you to know what happens in my sex life.” 

Ivar sighed. “Obviously, I would like for you to trust us. But if you don’t want to, then don’t tell us. It’s your choice… Just never bring that guy back into the apartment.” 

“Speaking of… You owe me an answer.” She squinted her eyes.

“What d’ya wanna know?” Ivar said while examining the contents of a bag of assorted organic snacks she’d previously put in the cart as if he hadn’t seen them before. He made a face and set them down again.

“Well… This is something that’s bothered me for a while. A long while. Almost since I met you, actually.”

Ivar shifted his weight to the other leg and she couldn’t help but look down at his feet.

“Hey, Y/N.” It’s alright. He smiled sweetly, in a manner he rarely did. “My legs are fine. I can tell you’re worried. What’s this burning question you have?”

Y/N lowered her head intimidated by his blue gaze. “Why are you the way you are with me?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you know, sort of protective…” She tiptoed around the word.

“You mean… possessive?” He asked, straightening up and turning serious all of a sudden. 

“Umm. Y-yeah, I guess.” She wasn’t sure if she'd made him angry.

He grinned slowly and she swallowed, confused by his moods. “Relax. I’m messing with you…” He started walking leisurely, pushing the cart as she moved alongside him. “Well, think about it. Why wouldn’t I be? You’re my friend and I’m suspicious of people who try to get close to you. Where’s this coming from, anyway?” He wrinkled his brow.

“I don't know, I guess sometimes I wonder why we are friends. For a long time, I used to believe you didn't like me.” She admitted.

Ivar scoffed. “Oh yeah, Hvitserk told me all about it... I’m just really good at reading people.” He shrugged lightly. “Most of them are like an open book. A few tricks up my sleeve and I get to know what makes them tick in no time.” 

He paused to smile absently and she was reminded of how she often liked to compare him to a cat; cold and beautiful on the outside but treacherous and wicked if messed with.

“But with you it’s different. I could never figure you out completely. You remind me of myself. So defensive and closed. That’s why it took me so long to engage you, I guess. I was trying to tell whether or not you were worth investing my time on.”

“I thought you wanted to murder me.” She muttered as they turned the corner of the aisle.

“Most people think that. And most people are right.” 

She turned her face to look at him. “But? Tell me there’s a ‘but’...” She swallowed a bit frightened.

“But not you.” A dark spark gleamed in his eyes. “Maybe I  _ have _ even murdered one or two poor fuckers.” He grinned mischievously to tease her.

Y/N locked eyes with him again. “So I’m worth your time? That’s your verdict?” She asked him shyly and ignored his other remark.

“Oh, yeah.” He grabbed two giant bags of chips and threw them carelessly on the shopping cart. 

In a strange way, she felt honored to hear him say that. Now that she thought about it, she’d rarely seen him talking to people outside his closest circle. She’d always assumed that people avoided him because of his intimidating air and prickly disposition. 

But now she was starting to believe that maybe it was he who avoided and discarded other people, after studying them coldly from afar. In fact, he seemed to prefer his solitude. So to hear him say he’d accepted her into his life made her feel proud and accomplished, even though she wasn’t sure what she’d done to truly earn that. 

When she asked him, he merely shrugged. “It’s not just one thing. But I guess if I had to pick… You take care of ‘Serk. I’ve never seen anyone so willing to put up with that half-wit’s bullshit as you are. He talks about your goodness ad nauseam…”

When she remained silent, clearly at a loss for words, he spoke again reassuringly. “Y/N, this might sound surprising to you, but I can  _ tell _ you’re a good person. And I care for you… a great deal. I may not have that many people in my life, but I’d kill for every single one of ‘em.” 

“Thank you, Ivar.” She’d never heard him admit it before. 

She turned his back on him to hide the color on her cheeks with the excuse of grabbing a carton of fresh milk. It was the last item on their shopping list so they headed to the checkout point.

“Which is why when you take any goddamn idiot for a lover, it makes me want to strangle them with a shoelace  _ juuust _ a little bit.” The old lady in front of them turned to look at her horrified, and Y/N smiled apologetically before pinching Ivar on his side. 

Thankfully, he got the hint and lowered his voice. “I don’t want you to go through the same shit you went through with your last boyfriend, who would already be dead by the way - as far as Hvitserk and I are concerned - if it weren’t for Ubbe who held us back.” Ivar forced a smile while speaking through gritted teeth.

“In hindsight, maybe Ubbe should've just let you.” She joked.

“That’s cute, you think I’m kidding.” Ivar chuckled and looked to the sire.

Y/N’s eyes widened, she looked back at Ivar searching his face for meaning. “What do you mea-? You know what? Don’t tell me. In case I ever need to plead the fifth.” 

Ivar laughed again. “Well, I’m glad you asked. There was this one time, not long after he broke up with you, where we saw him at a gas station past midnight and I swear to Odin we were  _ this _ close -” He gestured with his fingers. “- to cracking a baseball bat over his skull but Ubbe-”

“Ivar! What part of ‘don’t tell me’ was not clear?!”

“What?! We didn’t  _ do _ it!” His voice went up while he tried to justify himself. “There were cameras around, so… You’ve nothing to fear from the police... or otherwise.” He said innocently.

Y/N put a hand over her face and exhaled trying to process this new piece of information and not fall into hysterics. The Ragnarssons were going to be the death of her one day. There was a long pause while the old lady in front of her unloaded her full cart.

“Does it bother you, though? Me looking out for you?” He looked to the floor and asked in a rather small voice.

“Not exactly. I was just curious, I guess. You're just-” 

“I’m what?” He lifted his big brilliant eyes to her expectantly and she exhaled. Those eyes could trap and kill anyone. Dangerous good looks really ran in that family.

“I don’t know. You’re so intriguing, Ivar. I never knew you considered me part of your family.”

“Well, you do now.” 

After unloading the groceries in front of the cashier, she tried to find her wallet to pay, but she realized with exasperation that he had already beaten her to it. 

“Ivar!”

“Oh, suck it up.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Ugh!” She dropped her phone on the sheets and thrashed in her bed feeling defeated. 

A fluffy pillow flew from her arms to the door, thudded loudly, and then slid down with a puff. Her hair stuck to her face and intruded in her mouth so she blew it off as she stared into the ceiling. Sending sexy pictures to her almost-one-night-stand was shaping out to be a terrible idea. He hadn’t even asked for them, but she still felt compelled to send  _ something _ his way to apologize and get the conversation going again. 

Her eyes became slightly wet with frustration and she chuckled at how idiotic she felt. If anybody could see her, they would probably think she was crazy, laughing and crying at the same time like a madwoman. She heard the soft rap of knuckles against the door and she sat up promptly. Her breasts were threatening to spill from the tight cups of her lingerie bra so she pushed the soft skin back in carefully.

“Yes?”

“Y/N, you okay?” It was Ubbe, bless his caring but annoying soul.

“Yeah…”

‘...‘cuz we heard a thump.” He fished for an explanation.

“I’m okay.”

“Can you open up the door?”

“Nope.” 

“Please?” His voice was soft and sweet. “It’s Sunday now. We haven’t seen you since Friday night. Ivar’s threatening to leave… Says he didn’t come here to hang out with us… He wants to see you.”

Y/N stood up and dried her thin tears on the silk shoulder of her skimpy white robe, careful not to stain it with mascara. She reached the door in a few strides to open it wide. Since he towered over her by almost a whole foot, she stared up at him through the thick dark fan of her false lashes. She’d applied a full face of makeup and done her hair in an impeccable French braid to complete the look as well.

Ubbe staggered back: “Uhhh… Hey?” His eyes slid down her body then back up quick as lightning. Even though he wasn’t used to seeing her wearing makeup, that was the last thing that surprised him at the moment.

“Hey.” She repeated back.

“What’s wrong?” He gestured to her face with his chin. Clearly, her last-ditch effort to hide her tears hadn't been that successful.

“I can’t find a fucking good angle.” 

“An angle?” Ubbe repeated dumbfounded.

“Yes, an angle! For my pictures.”

“So you’re crying?”

“You wouldn’t get it.” She sniffled, fully aware she sounded vain and conceited but she didn’t care. It wasn’t often that she played dress up and actually managed to feel good while doing it. And this had been yet another failed attempt.

“What do you wanna take pictures for?” His crystalline blue eyes wavered in focus. He looked as if he wanted to gaze down again but was doing an immense effort not to do so. 

To end his conundrum, she simply tied the robe and replied haughtily: “Because… I bought all this stuff and it's just been sitting there gathering dust ever since my ex left. I never even got to- nevermind.”

“Well, uh, maybe we can, uh... help?”

She scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

“I’m serious. Try us.”

A light lit on inside her brain and suddenly it occurred to her that maybe what she needed to build her confidence was not to hide inside her room, but rather to go get the opinion of her guy friends _.  _ After all, those pictures were meant for another guy, not that  _ they _ needed to know, but their input wouldn’t hurt. Ivar had said she could trust them.

“Okay, come with me then.” Y/N laced her fingers with Ubbe’s and she dragged him by the hand until they were in the living room. 

She stopped in front of the TV, blocking Hvitserk and Ivar’s view. Her roommate reached the remote control with rushed slippery fingers and hit the off button. He blinked a few times trying to focus his eyes as if they were deceiving him. 

“What’s going on?” Ivar was perched like a boneless cat on the couch’s backrest somehow. She had no idea how he managed to force his body into these uncomfortable-looking positions for him and still make them look natural.

She let go of Ubbe’s hand almost begrudgingly because it was reassuring and warm. “I need your help. Your brother here said you could come in handy and maybe he’s right.”

Hvitserk sat up straight from his slouched position in the middle of the sofa. His eyes traveled down the slope of her exposed fleshy thighs. “Our help?”

“Yes, I need a guy's opinion.”

“On…?” Ivar held onto his popcorn bowl and slid down into a seated position next to his sibling.

“Nudes. Well, tasteful nudes. More like… just sexy pics, really.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m...  _ bored _ .” Y/N lied through her teeth. “I wanna take some pictures with these cute things I bought. Just for fun!” Whenever she lied, she tended to babble. She was glad for the lowlights of the room which hid the thin coat of pink that spread across her features. “But I don’t like any of the ones I took. Maybe you could tell me what you like to see? I… I don’t know. Coach me through this.” She sighed and pursed her lips. 

“How can we ‘help you’ if you still have that robe on?” Ivar said with no repairs and put his hand inside the popcorn bowl.

Hvitserk cleared his throat. “I think what my brother is trying to say is that... we need something to work with.” Her roommate clarified, sounding all business all of a sudden. It was the first time since ‘the incident’ that he’d spoken to her. He locked eyes with her and she quickly felt intimidated and stupid. 

What on earth was she doing? This was ridiculous. “Umm. No, no, no. Just forget it.” She meant to sneak away back into her room.

“No!” 

“Wait!” 

“Where are you going?”

A chorus of voices said. 

Ubbe grabbed her elbow and made her slow to a halt. “Wait a second, doll. Stay here.”

“This is silly. Forget I asked.” She laughed flustered.

“Why do you wanna leave?” Ubbe pressed softly. 

“I- I don’t know. I guess I’m scared.”

“Scared of what? Of us?” Hvitserk dismissed her concerns. “Oh, please.”

“You won’t make fun of me?” She asked in the smallest voice. A short-lived silence fell over the room because they weren’t even sure if they’d heard her correctly, right before they all erupted into amusing protests.

“What?!”

“You’re crazy!”

“Why the fuck would we do that?!”

“Ugh! Alright, alright. Just- shut it.” She moved her hands in the air to shush them. She glanced at Ubbe looking for reassurance.

“Safe space. I promise.” Ubbe told her earnestly and she bit her lip so hard she drew blood. He put his pinky finger up jokingly and she shoved his hand away rolling her eyes to hide her unintentional smile.

Well, she was nervous, but what the hell? She had nothing to lose. They’d seen worse, after all. Y/N untied the strings of the robe and let it slide down her shoulders, but she didn’t completely take it off, instead, she let it surround her arms and waist, just open enough for them to see what she was wearing underneath.

Hvitserk swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing in the process, while Ivar unashamedly snaked his eyes down her figure. He was nothing if not upfront.

“Is this even okay? I mean, how does it look?” 

She looked to the side at Ubbe who shrugged and cleared his throat. “S’good. You look, uh, _ good _ .” He tore his eyes away from her and fixed them mechanically on the wall in front of him.

“Yeah, yeah. You do.” Hvitserk confirmed with his voice a little strained.

“So it’s not the clothes then! Jesus, why is this  _ so _ frustrating?”

“Ubbe?” Ivar made a circular motion with his index finger. 

“Huh? Oh.” He turned his head to look at Ivar. “May I?” Ubbe then offered her his hand to spin her around and she took it.

“Well, yeah no, it's definitely not the clothes.” Hvitserk spoke again. He pressed his eyebrows together and suddenly his face was all fine lines and angles. She recognized that forced gesture, it was the one he did whenever he was trying to convince other people that everything was fine and that he was not hiding something. He was such a bad liar.

“What’s wrong, Hvi?” She asked him.

“N-nothing. Nothing’s wrong.” Defensive tone, stiff posture, red cheeks, stuttering out of the blue. He was definitely lying.

“Then, what is it? I can tell you’re bursting at the seams.” She pointed out flatly.

“Ditto.” Ubbe backed her up and smirked.

“Yeah, ‘Serk, what is it?” Ivar grinned while looking at him sideways, amusement all over his face. 

“Uh. You look- you look  _ too  _ hot. It’s distracting.” He conceded under pressure.

Ivar offered him a cushion: “Need this to hide something?” But Hvitserk pushed it away while Ubbe and Ivar erupted into laughs.

“But I, uh- I don’t know. You’re right. Something’s off. Maybe it’s the lightning. Let me help you.” He spoke in chopped phrases then stood up and fumbled around his pockets to take out his phone and Ubbe took his place on the couch, while Hvitserk led her back to her room with a shaky hand placed on the small of her back. 

The door closed noisily and he turned around looking apologetic. She hated it when he smacked doors in their apartment and he knew it.

“S-sorry. My hand s-slipped. Um, why don’t you sit in the middle of the bed?” He kneeled down and centered the phone on her. “You’ll love these, I swear.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dedicate this chapter to HemlockGrover. I feel like I owe it to you. I have been MIA and I'm so sorry 😅 I had no inspiration during the summer. And now I do, but I'm back in college, so I will probably be very slow at updating my stories until my semester ends, and I can have some fucking peace and quiet again. Anyway, I hope you like it, hun! 😭

“Do you want to see them?” Hvitserk cleared his throat.

Y/N nodded embarrassed and Hvitserk approached the bed and knelt down again, this time while she sat at the edge of the mattress. She tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear and grabbed the robe she’d thrown aside to at least cover herself a bit while he sat so close. She’d taken it off after a few minutes, encouraged by him to try different poses. She wasn't holding onto hope that the pictures would come out great but the second he opened the gallery app, she realized how wrong she’d been. 

She really didn't give him enough credit. The pictures were gorgeous.  _ She _ looked gorgeous. And radiant too, she seemed to project a sort of light that wasn’t there when she tried it by herself. No doubt it was the effect of his presence. He’d made her forget all about her insecurities for a few minutes. A big silent smile spread across her lips.

“You like ‘em?” Hvitserk asked, flipping through the pictures on his phone so she could see them. He was lightly resting his arms on her knees and all the nerve ends on her body registered this simple touch. He hadn’t noticed her expression yet.

“I love them! Thank you.” Y/N grabbed his face and gave him a kiss on the cheek. 

His eyes lit up and he smirked shy but satisfied. “You’re welcome. Anytime, baby.” 

And while there was no legitimate reason for him to stay where he was anymore, touching her and looking at her from such a close distance, he refused to move and in turn, she was paralyzed. They’d shared an intimate moment, she didn’t show herself dressed like that to just anybody, and she felt slightly uneasy - they still hadn’t cleared the air after his outburst. If she moved abruptly it would seem rude, but if she stayed like that, it would become more and more awkward by the second. 

Y/N had an inkling that he liked her but she didn’t want to cross the line and be the first one to make a wrong move or misinterpret the situation. As if hearing her thoughts and wanting to put her mind at ease, his eyes wandered down her body and he wet his lips. It was the hottest thing she’d ever seen him do, it felt good to have his whole undivided attention. He got closer and she could tell he was building up his courage. Were they about to royally screw up? 

Her mind listed all the things that could go wrong: from panicking about her appearance mid-sex to being a terrible lover and making him lose interest - fucking up a perfectly good friendship while at it - to them successfully becoming a thing, before inevitably breaking up and losing a huge part of her life in the process. It was like watching a car crash in slow motion, knowing she could do nothing to avoid it but also sort of perversely wishing it happened. 

But maybe things didn’t need to end in tragedy. Maybe they actually had a chance to have something good. And she liked him too. It was time she admitted her feelings and did  _ something _ about them. Hvitserk advanced until the only distance between them was a thin layer of air. He posed his lips on hers and waited for her to react. When she didn’t reject him he took it as a sign and separated from her only to stand up and fall roughly on top of her. 

He brought his hands up to her chin and quickly found her mouth with his again and kissed her like he was running out of seconds to live. A million things rushed through her mind still, but it wasn't until she decided to shut the door on those thoughts that she was truly able to relish his hot lips caressing hers. She could sense his smile, even with her eyes close; he was like an overeager puppy, anxious to give her love. 

His hands wandered down, touching her neck before his mouth joined him there and he started biting the crook of her neck. Y/N moaned softly and he took that as an encouragement to continue his journey down, grabbing her breast while his other hand ran up and down the length of her thigh. She opened her thighs and raised one leg behind his thigh jailing him and he seemed to melt into her, his body molding around hers and enveloping her completely. 

They made out for long minutes. Kissing him felt natural. She wasn’t overthinking it anymore. In fact, she’d stopped thinking long ago, focusing only on his jagged breaths and the trail of fire that his fingertips left along every stretch of skin they touched. 

Y/N knew that he’d stopped using his brain a long time ago too because he kept grinding his hips against hers greedily, signaling how badly he wanted to have her. In a fit of courage, she lifted a hand to his belt buckle and felt how his whole body sighed in relief the second she decided to let him go all the way through. 

Suddenly, a thundering bang on her door startled them and made them stop. 

“Yo’ little brother!”

They recognized the voice immediately.

“Bjørn?” Hvitserk pulled away from Y/N. “Is that you?” His chest was panting heavily.

“Who else?” Bjørn shot back. “Come give me a hug! You have 10 seconds! Or I’ll bring that door down!”

They both could hear the laughter on the other side of the door and the voices of Ubbe and Ivar mixing with that of Bjørn. They sounded excited to have him there. And she would be too if he hadn’t picked the worst possible time to show up.

“Y/N? Are you there too? Come out!”

Somebody knocked down a dish and she heard them shushing each other and trying to return it to its place. They’d already started breaking down stuff. Somehow Hvitserk found the will to separate from her. He readjusted his pants and passed a hand down his hair to comb it in place. She sat up and tied the robe around her body. There was no time to look for other clothes. He sighed deeply, sort of bracing himself, and opened up the door. This was going to be a long Sunday.

\---

“Brother!” Bjørn said and tackled Hvitserk as soon as he stepped out. 

They hugged and exchanged pleasantries while she walked to the door warily. Hvitserk was laughing in no time, seemingly forgetting what he’d been doing mere seconds before. She would be offended if it wasn’t precisely the act they needed. Until they sorted out their relationship, it was better if nobody knew.

“Bjørn?” She asked, still incredulous. He let go of his brother.

“I thought you were up in Canada.” She said before standing on his tippy toes to hug him.

“Ahhh.” He sighed before giving her a kiss. “I was, but Christmas is almost here. I had to come back and visit mom. Though I missed you and your cooking most of all.”

Y/N smirked. “I know I rocked your world with my pies.”

“You sure fucking did. My Christmas dinners have never been the same again… Is that what you were doing though? Rocking Hvitserk’s world in there?” Bjørn raised an eyebrow suggestively. 

There was an instant silence in the room. Ivar and Ubbe seemed to suddenly remember.

“Uhhh, no.” Hvitserk interrupted before her brain was even capable of whipping out a response. “I was just, uh, helping her take some pictures.”

Bjørn’s eyebrow shot up even higher, almost reaching his hairline. He took in the whole of her figure for the first time since she came out. “Huh… Can I see those?” Bjørn asked grinning.

“I, uh, I don’t know. Ask Y/N.” Hvitserk said but his face contorted slightly. 

“...Sure, whatever.” She shrugged. 

The three of them moved perfectly in sync to gather around Hvitserk’s phone. Even if she was okay with them seeing the risqué pictures, she felt uncomfortable watching them watch her so she went around their huddle and walked to the kitchen. She was starving anyway, might as well occupy her time fishing for snacks while they finished ogling her.

“You know, Y/N...” Bjørn shouted across the apartment.

“Yeah?” She answered. 

“You remind me so much of my girlfriend in the last picture.” He said absently.

“Your girlfriend?” Ubbe asked him.

“Yeah… fuck… I didn’t tell you guys?! My bad!”

Y/N raised her eyes from her dish. She saw them shaking their heads. Hvitserk elbowed him playfully. “Well, tell us! Who is she?” 

“I met her at the airport when I was about to leave… We chatted while we were waiting for the plane. She said she’d broken up with his boyfriend and needed to clear her head so she was taking a vacation. And y’know, we exchanged numbers. I told her I could show her around if she ever came to Vancouver, take her to dad’s loft, and whatnot...”

“And?” Ivar pressed.

“Well, I was going to call her but she beat me to it. We went out one night and I couldn’t let her fucking go. We started dating, moved in together, and here we are, almost a year later... She’s coming back from Canada soon. I wanna introduce her to mom.”

“Hang on, you’re introducing her to Lagertha?” Hvitserk asked. “Oh, I think this is it. Bjørn’s in love, guys.” 

“Maybe… I think she might be the one.” His face lit up as he sat down.

Y/N walked back to them holding a plate full of food.

“What’s her name?” Ivar asked.

“Diana… Anyway, you look stunning, Y/N.” Bjørn handed the phone back to Hvitserk. “And you’re not bad at taking pictures, baby bro.”

She smiled and thanked him merely seconds before the room turned silent. 

“Wait a second. Diana?” Ubbe chuckled anxiously. “That was the name of Hvitserk’s ex-girlfriend too…”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter 👀

Bjørn slanted his eyes at Ubbe. “I… don’t know? You never told me about your ex, Hvi.”

“We... weren’t speaking that much back then... Are you... seriously dating my ex?” Hvitserk said slowly as if he were speaking from the other side of a long tunnel.

“Nah. It’s not… it’s not her. Right?” Bjørn hesitated. “Are we even talking about the same girl? Brown hair, olive skin, hazel eyes?”

Hvitserk nodded.

“She grew up outside the country. Came here with her dad when her mom died.”

“... Yes.”

“She used to work at a fashion magazine.”

“So did my Diana.” Hvitserk replied pathetically. 

“You know there’s a quicker way to solve this, right?” Ivar said sarcastically. Pull out your phone, Bjørn. Show us a picture of  _ your _ Diana.” He added a bit mockingly.

Bjørn took out his phone; in no time he was showing his brothers her likeness. Even though she couldn’t see her from where she was sitting, the look on Hvitserk’s face told Y/N that it was, indeed, his ex-girlfriend. He grew suddenly pale and sat down. His chest was heaving noticeably. 

Bjørn seemed caught off guard and sort of apologetic. He glanced towards Ubbe who looked incredibly awkward and at a loss for words. “I didn’t know…” Bjørn said softly to no one in particular.

“You motherfucker.” Hvitserk laughed after a long silence but somehow there was no actual joy in his voice. “You had to steal her away from me, didn’t ya?”

“Hang on, dude. I didn’t steal anyone! You guys weren’t a thing when I met her.”

“Because she left me! I never agreed to end it. Somebody - I still don’t know _who_ - filled her head with lies and she left me! I guess I finally found out who did it.” 

“Oh please, you think I went and seduced her just to get back at you? You’re crazy. I didn’t know!” Bjørn stood up from his chair and Hvitserk did the same. 

The look on Ivar’s face was a mixture of smugness and wicked delight. He relished strife perhaps a bit too much. 

“Why else would she leave me? Huh?! We were in love and then-”

“And then what? And then you cheated on her and she found out. That’s what happened.”

“No! No!” Hvitserk huffed. “I did  _ not _ cheat on her.”

“Man, they saw you.” Bjørn passed a hand down his beard.

“Who did? Tell me  _ who _ saw me.” Hvitserk stared at Bjørn unrelenting, even though his big brother towered over him by a few inches. 

“I don’t know, she never said, but someone saw you on a ratty bar cozying up to another girl.”

“That waitress? She took my order! The music was too loud so she came close.” Hvitserk tried to excuse himself. “Are you crazy? I could never cheat on her. She was the love of my life!  _ You _ made this up!”

“I already told you I didn’t know it was you. If I had known…”

“You would’ve fucked her anyway because that’s just who you are. Ever since we were kids you’ve always loved taking our things-”

“She’s not a thing.” Bjørn said calmly.

“-and you’re always right. You never lose! Never! That’s just fuuucking typical.”

“Don’t turn this into something it’s not.  _ You _ fucked up! Why don’t you just admit it and move on? She’s happy with me now. Let her be.”

“You’re a pig, Bjørn. You ruined my life man, I hope you’re happy.”

“I’m the pig?!” Bjørn tilted his head to the side and pointed at himself. “You broke her heart into pieces. She was a mess when I first met her! You have no idea how much it cost me to make her smile again. Besides, if you were so in love with her then why did you go around town sleeping with every girl who would fall for your spoiled rich kid act?” Bjørn’s temper was about to explode.

“What?!”

“Oh, don’t deny it, baby bro. They saw you.” Bjørn jerked his head toward Ivar and Ubbe. “You spent months getting drunk and high and fucking every woman in sight. Doesn’t sound like you were that sad to me...”

“Are you seriously judging me right not? You! Of all people? How many times did I have to pick up your sorry ass after you got so shit faced you couldn’t even stand up from the sidewalk?”

“Don’t change the subject. I don’t do that anymore.”

“You know what? Get out. Get out of my house.”

“Fine! You want me to leave?” Bjørn threw a glance towards the door. “I’ll leave. I’m not going to put up with your bullshit anymore. Call me when you grow up!” He turned around and Y/N put a hand against his chest.

“No.” She spoke for the first time since their argument started. 

She’d been trying to collect all the pieces of the puzzle and process the fact that Hvitserk was still obviously in love with his ex. Otherwise, what was that frenzied resentment about? She felt angry, hurt, embarrassed, betrayed... The moment she thought she was ready to move on and give herself another opportunity next to Hvitserk, he went and showed his true colors.

“You’re not going anywhere, Bjørn.” She snapped.

All eyes darted back to Y/N.

“Excuse me?” Hvitserk snapped back, irate at first, yet she was able to see the exact moment when he realized that she’d heard their entire exchange mere minutes after they’d almost made love. Any hope of having her had surely been lost now.

“You’re acting like a toddler, Hvitserk.” She found the self-control to not let her voice become a shaky mess. Somehow she sounded detached and resolute, the exact opposite of how she felt. “And Bjørn is not going anywhere. Or have you forgotten, this is my home too?” 

Ivar tilted his head to the side and smiled silently.

“Are you seriously gonna let him stay here after what he did to me?”

“He didn’t  _ do _ anything. And certainly not to me. You, however, are trying my patience.” She crossed her arms and stared at him directly. “Get out.”

“What?!” 

“I said get out.”


	10. Chapter 10

After he left in a huff, she went to shower trying to take off the stink of betrayal, or more specifically, the smell of Hvitserk from her skin. She’d cried heavy tears in that bathroom and came out with puffy red eyes. She got dressed in her favorite long pajamas and told herself she would go to sleep early to escape her worries for a while just before there was a soft knock on her door.

“Hey, Y/N. I was wondering if I could stay here?” Bjørn asked softly. 

“Yeah, yeah of course.” She said turning around so he couldn’t see her eyes with the excuse of grabbing a comb to brush her hair.

“No, I mean, can I stay here in your room? Ubbe is going to take Hvitserk’s room for now and Ivar will sleep on the couch. I really don’t wanna be next to my brothers right now but I also don't feel like being alone...”

“Oh.”

“I… feel so shitty, you have no idea.” He exhaled and massaged his temples.

“I can imagine…” She said, trying to put herself in his shoes. “Yeah, yeah you can.”

“Thanks. I won’t bother you though. Just need to feel someone here next to me.”

“It’s okay. I get it.”

Truth be told she didn't feel like spending the night alone either. That would only give way to overthinking and feeling sorry for herself. If this is how it was going to be, then she would pull herself together and stop crushing on him. She’d make herself get over it. She had no tears left to cry for Hvitserk, she’d emptied them all already. It was twice this year that she’d been faced with a situation of this nature, but this time she'd learned her lesson. She’d survived her ex and he'd been an even bigger asshole than Hvitserk.

Bjørn sat on the floor next to her bed and hunched over, a lofty weight bending his shoulders. 

“You know, I never took you for the girlfriend type.” She kept brushing her hair with her back to him.

She really didn’t want to think of this girl who’d seemingly captivated both of them, but she had to have something to be so enchanting. She felt simultaneously jealous and happy for her. Jealous because she still had a spell over Hvitserk - even if she didn’t know it - and happy because she got over him and found a boy who really loved her and treated her well, and that gave her hope that she would eventually get her happy ending too.

“I never took myself for the girlfriend type either… until I met her.” Y/N turned around and saw that Bjørn was smiling to himself.

She walked to where he was sitting and sat on the ground next to him. After an extended pause, she spoke. “C-can I tell you something, Bjørn?”

“Of course… what is it, Y/N?

“I almost slept with Hvitserk. I guess I should be thanking you because you interrupted our thing. Twice. First when you arrived and then when you dropped that bomb.” 

Bjørn seemed to be processing her words. “Hang on, my brother tried to sleep with you?”

“Yep…” 

“That's so fucked up. He shouldn't have…”

“I wanted to. Guess it’s my fault too. I should’ve seen that he was still not over her. But I was hung up on my ex too...” Y/N didn't want to sound as if she was making concessions on Hvitserk’s account but it hadn't been entirely his fault.

Bjørn pinched the bridge of his nose. “And I thought I had it bad… Oh, man. I am so going to beat the shit out of him when he comes back.” He sighed. “Not just for Diana, but for you.”

In spite of herself, she smiled. “Thanks, I guess.” She crossed her legs and stared at the floor.

“I always suspected he liked you but he never admitted anything... I thought you’d end up with Ivar, though.”

“What?” She looked at him quizzically but still sort of smiling.

Bjørn chuckled and nodded. 

“Care to explain?” Y/N pressed.

“Well, you know… He has this thing for you and…”

“He does?” She asked dumbfounded.

“Yeah?” Bjørn raised an eyebrow. “Fuck, did I say too much? I thought you knew…” He grinned and Y/N blinked a few times. 

“I thought he was just being… his weird possessive self. At least I asked him and that's what he said.

“And you believed him? Seriously, you’re his only  _ girl _ friend… What does that tell you?”

“That girls are scared of him?”

“Everyone’s scared of him. But no. He- uh, he basically admitted it to us.”

“What? When?”

“A few months ago… Drunk night out… We tried to set him up with a girl and he refused. We asked him why and he said that he...” Bjørn looked at her face. “Nevermind” He grinned and changed his mind. “I thought he’d told you by now.”

Y/N looked to the side in an effort to hide the blush on her cheeks. “Well, no, he didn't.”

“Does he know about Hvitserk?”

“He sort of knows… He doesn't know what just happened though… But why did you think we’d end up together?

“I don't know, you're pretty similar…” Bjørn smirked again. “I kinda pictured you two together… I feel like you would understand him, but also you could help balance some of that darkness he has, I guess…”

“Huh…”

“It’s up to you though… Would you give him a chance?”

“I… don't know, I’ve never really thought about it.”

“Maybe you should.” He shrugged. “He’s not as bad as people think he is. Spend some time with him, get to know him. That’s what dating is for, you know…”

“After what happened, dating is sort of the last thing in my head right now.” Y/N reclined her head on Bjørn’s shoulder.

“It’s okay… whenever you’re ready.”

They both stared at the ground in silence. But the longer she sat there, the more she felt like she had unfinished business.

Y/N sighed heavily. “Thanks for having my back.”

“Anytime… thanks for keeping me company...”

“About that… would you mind being alone for a few minutes? I feel like I have to talk to Ivar.”

Bjørn smirked. “Go do your thing.”


	11. Chapter 11

“Ivar?” She fumbled around the living room.

“Y/N?” A voice answered her from the dark.

“Where are you?”

“Here.” The light of the lamp next to the sofa flickered the next second and his features were flooded by the light. He was lying down but sat up quickly and his eyebrows creased. “You okay?” He sounded worried. 

She nodded. “I’ll survive.” 

“I was waiting for you to come find me. I have a feeling my brother did something...”

“He did but that’s not why I’m here.” Y/N wavered a bit, biting her lip and gathering her courage but decided she had to confront him. “C-can we talk?”

“Sure...”

There was a brief pause before she continued. “I don’t mean to put you on the spot but Bjørn told me something… and I need to know if it’s true…”

Ivar threw his head back a little and squinted his eyes. “Don’t tell me. I know already.” Ivar grew serious for a second then smiled to himself. “Took him long enough to snitch.”

Y/N sat next to him on the couch sheepishly and he turned to face her.

“It’s true…”

Her heart beat faster. “It is?” She asked quietly and he nodded.

“Why didn’t you say anything before?”

“Because… because it would’ve been a waste of time. You could never like me back. Besides, Hvitserk was always in the middle. He saw you first.”

“And?” Y/N asked suddenly and Ivar scoffed. 

“Well, you seemed to like him best.”

“He was my friend… but what do you mean I could never like you back? And why does everyone keep assuming who I like or don’t like instead of just asking me?! First Bjørn, now you...” She raised her voice.

“What did Bjørn say?” He was oddly calm and nonchalant about this.

“He said he always thought you and I would end up together…” Y/N blushed.

“And is there… a chance?” He scanned her face slowly for her reaction.

“I don’t know… Kiss me.” She blurted out.

“Kiss you?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I need you to.”

Ivar couldn’t tear his eyes from her face. He wet his lips and to anyone who didn’t know him, it might’ve looked like he was hesitating. But she knew he was only preparing himself.

“Kiss me and then ask me again.”

Ivar grabbed the back of her neck and drew her close so forcefully their teeth clashed and she was literally breathless. Ivar channeled all of his carefully hidden feelings for her into the kiss. It felt like standing in front of a bursting levee, feeling the blunt force of his frustrations. His lips were dominant and predatory and it electrified her. His tongue was inside her mouth in no time and his hand wasn’t loosening its grip on her neck. 

It was easier to surrender and let him lead, especially when his mouth knew how to do the things it was doing. His other hand snaked up her thigh, rustling against her pajama bottom and he cornered her between his arms and the sofa. This could be her new favorite place. Ivar’s mouth traveled along her jawline until they reached the spot between her ear and her neck and he teasingly grazed his teeth against her sensitive skin before separating from her. 

“Well?” Ivar whispered and touched her bottom lip with his cold finger. He was suddenly nervous, she could tell by the way his voice cracked. 

She caressed his arms slowly for long seconds, feeling the hard muscles tensing underneath his shirt while looking into his beautiful eyes that were glimmering with a spark of hope. There was her chance to start over.

“Is there?”

Her head was spinning but her answer was clear: “Yes.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to HemlockGrover for giving me inspiration. idk if this is exactly what you had in mind with the bar scene 😅 I'll turn off my chat now in case you want to yell at me hahaha

“Ivar… Oh, fuck.”

He shushed her.

“Keep going, please, please, I’m almost there.” She bit her lip and squirmed in Ivar’s hands.

“I thought you didn’t want my brothers to hear us, Y/N.” Ivar huffed and recited close to her ear while his fingertips rubbed her.

“I don’t care. Just keep going. Mmm.” 

The truth is that if anyone burst in through the door right now, she was certain she would keep going until she found the release she so desperately needed. She’d done this many times herself but feeling someone else’s hands pleasuring her was a different experience altogether. Ivar picked up the pace while he kissed her mouth snaking his tongue along her wet lips, his wide frame pressing her tightly against the sofa’s armrest.

Her moans were throaty and needy until he finally tipped her over the edge. Her eyelashes fluttered shut dreamily and Ivar kept kissing her cheeks but removed his hands from her reluctantly to turn on the lamp by the couch. They’d been kissing and messing around for over an hour now.

“Wait, what about you?”

“Don’t worry about me.” He sat next to her again.

“But Ivar-” She fumbled to find his belt buckle and he put his hand on top of hers. “I- I can help you. I don’t have much experience but-”

“N-no, Y/N. It’s okay, really.” He smiled almost sadly and she frowned.

“Why won’t you let me touch you?”

“It’s not that. I just… What are we doing, Y/N?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t feel good about this.”

“About what?” She fixed her top and pulled up her pajama pants all the way up tying the strings together.

“This. Us. You say I have a chance but… I don’t know.” His brows creased together.

“But you do!”

“Right, but just because I have a chance doesn’t mean I’ll win.” His tone was suddenly making her question everything. He opened his mouth and seemed to be searching for the right words. “I can try to ignore the voice in the back of my head but it’s pretty clear to me that you have feelings for my brother and I don’t wanna be just your second option.”

She exhaled and looked to the side. “Well, Hvitserk is still hung up on his ex.”

“And you’re still hung up on him.”

“I’m not-”

“Yes, you are.” Ivar gave her a dejected smile. “It’s only been a few hours and you guys haven’t even spoken yet.” He grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “I just don’t want you to be running away from your feelings just because you can.”

Her eyes stung. She knew he was right but she didn’t want to face Hvitserk nor hear what he had to say. She only wanted to lose herself in the pleasure that a lover could give her and not think.

“Get dressed. We should go out.”

“Where to?”

“I know where Hvitserk is.”

\---

Hvitserk entered the almost deserted bar feeling miserable. He dragged his feet to a barstool and ordered a drink. It took Ubbe all of 15 minutes to trace him there and he sat next to him in silence. When Ubbe felt like it was wise to start speaking, he did and in turn, Hvitserk poured out his heart and all of his frustrations to his brother. 

What Hvitserk wasn’t counting on, however, was seeing Y/N arrive hand in hand with Ivar to the same bar he’d run off to trying to escape her and everything else. Ubbe had been the one to first spot them, and he elbowed Hvitserk who raised his swollen red eyes from his glass and blinked caught off guard. He dried his face on the shoulder of his t-shirt and followed them with his gaze until they sat down right next to him and Ubbe.

“What a fucking night this one. Wouldn't you say, brother?” Ivar addressed Hvitserk while Y/N sat between his thighs on the barstool as they’d planned.

Hvitserk’s posture was stiff all the way from his shoulder blades down. He looked at Ivar’s hands posed like tendrils on Y/N’s hips and thighs and practically snarled. She’d put on a mini skirt and boots to display her fleshy legs for maximum effect.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, first you try to seduce Y/N here, then you throw a hissy fit when Bjørn says he’s dating your ex, and now you’re trying to drink your problems away like you did last time, instead of facing them.” 

Y/N had told Ivar everything on the way here and he’d agreed to help her try to fix things with Hvitserk. He said he didn’t want that stain on his conscience - which was not all at what she’d expected from him. But if it all went to shit - as Y/N was sure would happen since she wasn’t as hopeful as Ivar was that this was a good idea - Ivar agreed he would date her then and see where things would lead. 

So either way it was a win-win for her. The issue was that Ivar’s methods were a little unorthodox. He said it was better to try and beat Hvitserk into submission through jealousy. She wasn’t sure how that was going to pan out. But even if she was still cynical, she figured she could get a kick out of making him suffer.

“You know, you should be careful. If you keep treating all your girlfriends like this, you’ll continue to lose them.”

“Why are you here, Ivar?” Ubbe asked.

“It’s an open bar.” Ivar shrugged unbothered. “And I like their whiskey.” He beckoned the bartender. “Whiskey. Straight. Do you want anything, my dear?” Ivar asked Y/N in a low voice.

“A martini, please.”

“You heard her.” Ivar put his black credit card on top of the bar for the server to take it and she rested her hand on top of his fondling it, making Hvitserk anxiously follow her every move. 

She gazed at him for the first time since she sat but her expression remained carefully neutral which only seemed to agitate him more.

“What’s-  _ this _ ?” Hvitserk gestured to them with his hand and lounged back in the chair to look at the couple with a curled lip.

“We’re dating.” Ivar took a sip from his glass and set it down slowly. 

Y/N took the olive from the martini and turned sideways to feed it to Ivar who took a hungry bite. 

Ubbe raised an eyebrow and grinned nervously. “Are you for real?” He asked them.

Immediately after, Ivar leaned in close to her mouth and puckered his lips so she pecked them playfully and they smiled at each other. Her fingers caressed his cheek lovingly. 

“Sure we are. Why wouldn’t we be?” Ivar countered. 

“Seems a little… sudden, if you ask me.” Ubbe explained. 

“Good thing we’re not asking you. Besides, life is short, brother. I got tired of waiting around for other people to make up their own mind so I decided to jump right ahead.” The entire time he was speaking he didn’t break eye contact with Hvitserk.

“Y/N?” The blond called her attention.

“Mmm?” She wondered uninterestedly while taking a small calculated sip from her drink. 

When she walked in through the door she wanted nothing more than to hurt Hvitserk, but the wounded look in his doleful eyes was making her reconsider. A question seemed to radiate from his gaze.  _ Why are you doing this? _

“Nothin’.” He decided to not ask after all. Instead, he lifted his glass and downed the rest of his booze in one gulp. He set the glass down with a clank and seized her up and down. “You look amazing, s’all.”

“Thanks, Hvi.” 

“Really fuckin’ gorgeous. I mean it.” Hvitserk chuckled without humor. “It’s a shame you’ll waste your beautiful looks on my brother, the cripple, when I could be giving you the time of your life.”

Y/N felt Ivar tensing up and she tensed up in turn. She wasn’t sure how far Ivar was willing to take this whole charade. And besides, there was a part of this situation that wasn’t staged at all. Now that she knew that Ivar did have feelings for her, she was starting to fear that he might lose his cool at any moment now.

“Really, Hvitserk?” The vibrations from Ivar’s chest as he laughed passed through her. “You of all people should know how much that word doesn’t hurt me anymore.”

“Had to try. Truth is, I’m desperate.” He admitted with a shrug and sat forward, suddenly confrontational. 

“Desperate for what?” Ubbe wondered.

“Desperate for a legit reason to smash this glass on the table and cut your face open.”

“Yeah?” Ivar grinned cooly. “Go right ahead, then. Let’s see what you’re made of.”

Hvitserk stood up immediately with a resolute stance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> about those first few lines... idek I hate writing sex scenes, they're so not my strong suit 😂 or my main focus anyway, I'm more about slow burn sensuality/desire but I felt like she had to do *something* else with Ivar apart from kissing ??? anyway sorry if the writing was a bit awkward 😅


	13. Chapter 13

The speed of his movement made him stumble a bit.

“Y/N!”

“What?”

“Outside. Now!”

Y/N blinked and examined her roommate's face deciding that he was serious enough so she stood up and followed him.

“Gods, you’re really trying to drive me crazy, aren’t you?” Hvitserk immediately pinned her against the brick wall of the alleyway behind the bar. He grabbed her chin forcibly and sniffed her neck like a spurned lover, then he roughly kissed her cheek pressing his nose against her face afterwards. 

“You even smell like him.” His tone was wretched and his breath reeked of alcohol. 

“You have the nerve to show up here, dressed like this...?” His hands went up from her hips to her breasts, squeezing everything in their path with brutal fingers.

Y/N’s heart was beating so loud it was a miracle he hadn’t heard it yet. 

“...And then parade around with my brother as if you were together?”

“B-but we are.”

“Yeah? I don’t believe you. Just a few hours ago you were putty in my hands.” Hvitserk breathed harshly while pressing his face to hers. 

He kissed her close to her ear then he assaulted her mouth. She could tell he was desperate, drunk, and angry, and she was momentarily afraid of what he could do. Gone was the usual sweet Hvitserk.

“What do you want?”

“You, that’s what I want.”

“Too late.”

“I  _ don’t _ believe you.”

“I had sex with your brother.”

“Huh?” He took a step back to look her in the eye and scowled painfully.

“We did. Just before we came here.”

“Nah. I'm not falling for that again.” Hvitserk retorted but took another step back. He spat on the ground. “You already lied to me once. You seriously mean to tell me that Ivar was your first? He can’t even get hard, for fucks’ sake!”

“Maybe we did- something else.”

“Oh, please! What did you do?” He scoffed defiantly.

“That’s none of your business. You have no right to question me after what you did.”

“Y/N… That was a mistake. I don’t think I should’ve reacted the way I did but I swear to you, it changes nothing.”

“If you still have feelings for her then why were you chasing me?”

“No, you don’t get it. It was tough hearing my brother say that is all. Diana and I, we didn’t end things the right way-”

“I don’t care! You seduced me!”

“I’m telling you it’s over! I’m moving on.” 

“You and I were about to have sex, Hvitserk!”

“Yeah well, so were you and Ivar! I guess sometimes we just… let our impulses drive us.” He tried to reason. “Please don’t shut me out just because I fucked up once.”

“I’ve never even heard you say you wanted me before today…” Y/N’s voice was tremulous. “You went from making out with me to fighting your brother over your ex in front of me. What was I supposed to do?”

“Maybe talk to me and not jump straight into Ivar’s arms for one?”

“Why not? Are you jealous?”

“Fuck, Y/N! Of course I am jealous! I’m fuckin’ furious!” He kicked a can that was near with more strength than was necessary. “I’d go back in there and fight Ivar if it weren’t for you.”

“If it weren’t for me?”

“Yes! I wanna fuck him up so badly for having the nerve to touch you... but I want to kiss you more.” Hvitserk drew closer to her and confined her against the wall again. He snuck his face in the crook of her neck and breathed erratically then kissed his way up to her mouth. He sank his teeth into her bottom lip and chewed it harshly. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” She moved her head to the side trying to avoid his searching mouth but he kept twisting and turning with her and he always caught her lips again. 

“Why not?”

“Because I’m dating your brother, Hvi. Can’t you understand that?” Y/N lied and whined but let him kiss her regardless. It took less energy than to resist him but she was still so conflicted.

“No, I can’t understand that. And I won’t accept it either. Let’s just go back to the apartment and make love, huh? Leave Ivar, yeah? What d’ya say?” Hvitserk grabbed her waist so hard her skin started to hurt.

“I say you’re hurting me, Hvi. Please, let me out.” When she pleaded he backed off and growled frustratedly. 

He ran a hand down his face in anguish. “I’m sorry, baby, I’m sorry. I’m just- about to lose it, Y/N. I want you so fucking bad. And you don’t want me back. You won’t let me in.” Hvitserk sank to his knees and kissed her hand and wrist all over.

“I’ve wanted you for so long…” She ran her fingers down his hair. 

Hvitserk rested his forehead against her stomach and his hands were anchored on her hips looking for the warmth of her body. 

“You have?” His voice was small and frail yet his eyes darted to hers, focused and hopeful.

“Y-yes, Hvitserk. But how can I know you’re being honest?”

“One night with you. That’s all I ask. I’ll show you how much I fuckin’ adore you.” 


	14. Chapter 14

The road to their apartment had never felt as long, as tortuous, or as meaningful. They took off their shoes by the entrance and Hvitserk led the way to his bedroom with her on his trail. She wasn’t sure if she’d made the right choice to come back together to their apartment but she was willing to risk it. 

He dropped the keys in his nightstand and turned on the night lamp before taking off his shirt and she just stood there on the other side of the room gazing at his slim torso and lean arms and she wanted to touch him all over. She’d seen him shirtless or in his underwear before, but never in such a situation.

“C’mere. Let me take off your clothes.”

When Hvitserk’s warm hands slid across her body she felt goosebumps making her skin all prickly even though the night was pleasant and his body heated her like a bonfire. He touched her neck, then her shoulders and her arm, and then down a few more inches until he found the hem of her shirt and rolled it up. Hvitserk made a contented sound when he saw her softly padded bra pushing her breasts tightly together. He wasted no time in removing it deftly and she swallowed hard. The urge to cover herself was strong yet she resisted.

Hvitserk pressed his body against hers while looking down at her intensely as if he could see into her very soul. He zigzagged his fingers down her back to eventually fiddle with the zipper of her skirt. He used both hands to tug at the tight piece of clothing until it fell down at their feet, then he made his fingers dance along her hips only to raise an eyebrow when he couldn’t feel her panties. Her eyes were wide open observing the satisfaction in his features.

“Less work for me then.” He grinned and guided her to bed. 

She sat down haphazardly because he couldn’t wait anymore and his mouth was swiftly all over her. He started with her feet, kissing his way up from her soles to her ankles, then her calves and thighs, and finally, he skipped up to her lower abdomen. Hvitserk stopped to glance up at her and she threw her head back, silently giving him permission to do whatever he wanted. He kneaded one of her thighs before he smacked it, making her bite her lip. 

He spread her thighs open and sank his face in between her legs. After a minute or two, Y/N heard Hvitserk’s smooth voice. “I swear by Freyja, I’ve never tasted anything better.” His eyes rested on her contorted face of pleasure. “How will I ever quit you now? Huh? Tell me.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Ivar’s still in the way.”

“N-no. No, he isn’t.” Y/N panted but her voice was truthful and he sensed it because he flashed her a smile right before he disappeared between her thighs again.

Hvitserk’s mouth made her squirm and moan when he took little gentle bites out of her - more like grazing her skin with his teeth, really - whenever he wasn’t flicking his tongue expertly and there wasn’t a thing in the world that could compare. Her hands shot up, searching for the bed frame or a pillow or anything that could help ground her. 

Her fingers coiled around one of the rails and she clung to it with eyes closed. The absolute explosion of pleasure bursting on every nerve ending in her body was heavenly. Y/N rested her legs and feet on his shoulders trying to steady them but it was of no use. Her legs were trembling uncontrollably, a fact he remarked upon with a smirk. She found the will to open her eyes again.

“You’re shaking already... Darlin’, I haven’t even started yet.”

She grabbed a handful of his hair to pull him up. Hvitserk dragged his body up and on top of hers, kissing her mouth with urgency for some fleeting seconds. She wasn’t sure where she’d rather feel his mouth next because the whole of her body was screaming in need.

“Leave your hands up. You look so beautiful like this.” He touched them to raise them above her head again and her breasts jiggled from the movement. His pupils were like two black holes. “I think you’re ready for me, my love.”

Y/N nodded and tried to breathe steadily to calm the thunderous beat of her heart.

“I’m scared, Hvi.”

“Don’t be. This is the easiest thing in the world.” He opened his pants then tugged down his underwear and he simply gripped the curve of her hips to guide himself.

“You won’t even feel any pain.” He eased into her gently, rocking himself slowly, and the repetitive clink of his belt buckle as it hit her skin time and time again was the only sound in the room. 

“See?” His eyes studied her wince. 

She could swear she saw a shadow of pain cross his brow as well, perhaps as he empathized with her own. 

“It burns.” She could smell the metallic whiff coming off of her. Which meant there must have been plenty of blood but it didn’t seem to faze him. 

“The worst is over already. Only good things from now on. Promise.” 

Hvitserk’s voice sounded so different. She’d never heard him speak in that tone before. It was raw and fervent but also tied into his own pleasure as if talking was an immense effort when he only wanted to lose himself in her. His eyelashes threatened to close his eyes.

“Kiss me. Kiss me, please.” 

The distraction of his divine mouth was what she needed to focus on something else that wasn’t the stinging sensation that stretched her. The words had barely escaped Y/N’s mouth when he dived in to indulge her until he’d made her lips swollen and red.

“I just need this one chance to prove it to you.”

“Prove w-what?” 

“That you and I are perfect for each other.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on god Hvitserk could split me in half and I'd thank him.
> 
> I think I'm done with this piece??? Thoughts? 😅

**Author's Note:**

> Look me up on Tumblr! deans-ch-ch-cherrypie.tumblr.com
> 
> In case you want to support me: https://ko-fi.com/amyponders


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